Notes from India – tolilet humour

A toilet in India does not have toilet paper. Instead there is a small table – approximately 6" x 4" and 2" high with a small plastic measuring jug on it sat next to the loo with a cold water tap situated above it. You fill the jug with water and, well, you can have a go at working out the rest yourself.

Personally this is a skill I have been unable to master. The contortions required to pour said water in the required direction allude me. Perhaps I need to do some yoga to work up the required suppleness.

I feel I should also point out that it's not exactly tropical here at the moment. Air temperatures in the eve are about 4 degrees at the moment and the water from the mains is of a similar temperature. Pouring water at temperatures just above freezing onto the family jewels is the sort of think you'd expect to read in a torture scene in a Ramond Chandler novel. You do not expect to be performing it willingly upon yourself every morning.

I'll be stocking up on the toilet paper for the moment thank you.

The squat toilets on the trains are even more fun. There is basically a hole in the floor and you can see the track thundering past below. You squat down and deposite your offerings to the holy god of India rail. Given a good dose of Delhi belly and the general change of diet, you find yourself doing this several times a night on a sleeper train. At least you get plenty of practice in.